Random little things

I know it's been a while...the bout with food poisoning had us out of action for a couple of days. We retreated inside our air-con room on Railay (pronounced RI-ley by the locals), but we recovered yesterday and made it to the mainland with a new friend, Manuelos, of Crete. We met Manuelos as we were waiting for a longtail taxi to the mainland. Apparently the boatmen won't go to the mainland for less than 800 baht, which comes out to 8 people paying the 100 baht fare, or fewer people have to pony up lots of extra baht. We ended up splitting the fare with Manuelos (who had been waiting for god knows how long with seemingly infinite patience) and two other girls who were, I think, Italian??? The boat ride back was at the height of low tide, which meant that it was much calmer than our ride out to Railay, but also that we had to walk a good 150 yards from the boardwalk to get out to our boat. We fared better than the two older women who left just before us. They couldn't carry their bags over the water and were left stranded at the end of the long, low concrete walkway that stretched almost, but not quite, to the waiting fleet of longtails. A reluctant boatman finally rescued them after they spent a good five minutes waving their arms and shouting to little effect.

The two girls were airport-bound, while Manuelos and Stacey and I were destined for a hostel, Pak-Up, that Manuelos had stayed in before and claimed was amazing. While we were waiting for a taxi, I desperately ran from store to store, trying to get someone to break the 1000 baht note that was the only cash I had. I went to the tourist office and was told "Cannot, mini mart." I went to the mini mart, grabbed a drink, and tried to check out, where I was firmly turned away ("Cannot"), then on to the currency exchange kiosk, then to the bank kiosk (that one was the most infuriating, because it was empty but open, and I'm pretty sure the worker was watching me anonymously from a park bench), then to yet another mini mart. After all of those failures, I ran back to Stacey and our three compadres.

"It's like this isn't even money!" I exclaimed, furious. "No one will take this, not even the exchange people."
Stacey looked at me. "Where are your shoes?"
I looked down at my feet, surprised to see that I had been running all over the streets barefoot. "Shit!" I cursed the world as I tried to remember in which storefront I had left my footwear."Hold on." I ran back three stores and picked up my shoes, dashing back to the group just as they were piling in the back of a too-small pickup that would take us first to Krabi Town, and then continue on to the airport.

The money situation worked out when the Italian girls acted as a bank and broke the 1000 for me, also paying most of our fare, for which we were grateful. We hit another piece of luck when Manuelos' hostel turned out to be the best one I've ever been in, by far, and the woman even opened a new room for us so that we had it to ourselves. Manuelos, poor guy, had been struck that morning by the same food poisoning that had taken us out the day before, so he was in for the evening. Stacey and I ventured to the night market for some food, where we discovered these delicious and amazing spiral fried potatoes. The vendor cut the potatoes in one curling spiral and speared them on a wooden stick. He had seven different flavorings to choose from--Stacey did BBQ, I did Paprika--and they were both delicious. I rounded out my meal with a Thai tea bubble tea, and Stacey got a kebab. Kebab. Flashback to Italy.

At the end of the night, we managed to piss off a woman who owned a bakery by trying to go in to buy a piece of cake when she was closed....but the door was still unlocked. She came flying at us from behind the counter, screaming in Thai, and her big basset hound was just trotting happily toward the door, not seeming to care at all. She shut the door and bolted it locked, still yelling. Sorry.

The hostel was good that night, and we managed to get to Bangkok with no problems. We're staying in the same guesthouse, in the same room, that we stayed in when we first got to Thailand, which is nice. There's a kind of symmetry to it--the end of the circle. I think I'm more sentimental about it than Stacey. She just looks at me when I say it.

Cats on Islands
Here's one thing. If the stray dogs rule the mainland of Thailand (which they do, I promise you--they're everywhere), then the cats rule the islands. I didn't really notice until the second or third day there, but when we got to Railay, and then Phi Phi, I started to notice the little creepers. Having swarms of dogs around doesn't really bother me. It's sad, but they all just trot along and find their places in the temples, where the monks care for them, or in random stalls and houses and yards.

The cats are different. There's something about a whole pack of cats creeping around

We Interrupt this Broadcast:
I have to stop here for a moment. The conversation that is taking place not five feet away from me is so disturbing that it bears comment. I'm sitting right outside our room on the guest house computer, typing this post, and this SOB French guy is talking to the Thai woman who runs the guest house, and he's being a total JACK******* (I added some asterisks for him for good measure). He's talking to this THAI woman about how he's a "farang," and so many Thai women want to be with him, because they want his money, and his looks, and his blah blah blah. What an a-hole. Now he's railing about how the street scene here is "a mixture of alcohol, drugs, and sex. Thailand is famous for the woman, also? Because some people come here and they have the easy sex. Okay, when you are ninety, okay, you want to have sex, you come here."

Oh my god. He is being so insulting right now, I can't believe it. I can't tell whether he's trying to get in her pants or whether he's just running his mouth. "In Europe, a Thai massage is a prostitute massage..." This poor woman. She's clearly so uncomfortable. I'm on the verge of standing up and telling this guy how horrible he's being right now. I want to punch him in the face. I can't even type the rest of this conversation about the massages.

I butted in. I couldn't help myself.

Me: "Isn't prostitution legal in Europe?"
Him: "No."
Me: (Emboldened after doing a quick Google search on prostitution rates in Thailand vs. Europe) "Yes, I believe it is legal in Europe."
Him: "Not in France."
Me: "No, not in France, maybe, but a lot of European countries." (because he had previously extolled the virtues of Europe regarding its impeccable sex-trade record)
Him: "I'm sorry, what is your meaning?"
Me: "I was just pointing out that prostitution is illegal here, but legal in Europe. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wouldn't want you to make a judgment on the whole Thai population because of a very small percentage of people. The Thai culture and people are beautiful, and it seemed like you were making a bit of an unfair judgment."
Thai woman: "Oh, thank you."
Him: "Oh, no, I don't judge the Thai women. I judge the farang. Maybe my English is not so good, you misunderstand me?"
Me: "Sure, okay." (mentally: there was no misunderstanding, **insert disparaging epithet here**)
Him: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Tennessee. The United States."
Him: "Ah, my girlfriend, she is from Texas; she's teaching down south."
Me: (mentally: omg. He has a girlfriend and he's hitting on this poor woman in the most horrid manner possible. How does this guy have a girlfriend?) "Oh, that's wonderful! I taught English here as well a few summers ago....blah blah blah blah..."

Now I'm awkwardly typing this as they've (thankfully) moved on to other topics of conversation. I can't really understand why she's still talking to him even after he's insulted her culture and people so horribly.

Anyway, back to the rest....the cats. Back to the cats.

So they creep up behind you and sneak around, and I swear to god, they sound like crying children when they wail. There are TONS of them, kittens of every age. I guess with no dogs or natural predators, they just multiply...like cats.

Sayings: Here are some funny and repeated sayings that we've heard (almost) every day.

Same, Same, but Different
This one is used mostly by vendors. They love to use this to convince tourists that even though they don't have what you want, what they have is good enough. Here are a few examples:

Tourist: (holding up a blue shirt) "Do you have another one of these?"
Vendor: (holding up a red shirt) "This, this."
Tourist: (waving blue shirt) "No, this one. Another BLUE shirt?"
Vendor: "Here! Same, same, but different. Same, same!"
Tourist: (crestfallen) "No...that's...not the same. Well, it is....but it's not."

or

Tourist: "Sawadee-kaa. Do you have a wooden mask?"
Vendor: (confused look)
Tourist: (miming now, speaking slowly, speaking loudly) "Wooden. Mask?" (pointing to face)
Vendor: (trying to be helpful and still make a sale, picks up whatever resembles something that goes on the face, looks like a face, could vaguely resemble something that goes on the face) "Here! You want?"
Tourist: "No..." (starting to walk away) "I'm looking for a mask."
Vendor: (emphatically shakes the item) "Same! Same, same, but different!"


Cannot
I've heard this one more than I would have liked to, especially when it comes to taking my good money.

Vendor: "Fifty baht."
Me: (holding out a 500 baht bill)
Vendor: (shakes head) "No, cannot. Cannot."
Me: "What?!"
Vendor: "Cannot."
Me: "What are you talking about? This is money."
Vendor: "Cannot."
Me: (turning around to Stacey and others in the general vicinity) "Is this not money? Am I not understanding something here?" (I turn back in desperation, holding the bill out one more time)
Vendor: "Cannot."
Me: "Bah..." (dismay)

or

Taxi Driver: "Where you go?"
Stacey: "Samsen Soi 3."
Taxi Driver: "How much you pay me?"
Stacey: "What? We want the meter." (you have to say the meter, or they charge you an absurdity)
Taxi Driver: "No, is traffic now. 150 baht."
Stacey: "No, the meter." (she points to the top of the cab, where it says "Taxi Meter" in big letters)
Taxi Driver: "Cannot, cannot."
Stacey: "So...you're a taxi driver....who won't drive the taxi."
Taxi Driver: "Traffic. Cannot."
Stacey: "Let's take the boat."


How much you pay me?
This one was briefly mentioned in the above quotes, but it bears explanation. If a vendor, taxi driver, boatman, basically anyone asks you this, you're in deep shit already. They know what the price is. The locals know what the price should be. They're gauging just how deeply they can rip you off right from the start. You could start off with a ridiculously low price to make sure you're not going to get taken, but then they might make the assumption that you A) don't know what you're talking about (which is probably correct), or B) you're not worth their time in bargaining (which is only a real problem if you are trying to get a taxi, which might very well decide not to take you).

Examples:

Tourist at a Night Market: "How much is this pair of pants?"
Vendor: "How much you pay me?"

Tourist at a taxi stand: "How much is a taxi to Khao San Road?"
Taxi Driver: "How much you pay me?"

Tourist at a boat pier: "How much to Ao Nang?"
Boat Man: "How much you pay me?"

Tourist at a food stall: "How much is this water?"
Food Vendor: "How much you pay me?"
Tourist: "Oh, this is getting ridiculous."

Sometimes, you can see them about to name the price, and then think better of it and ask the question. Not saying that everyone is dishonest. We learned as we went to immediately bypass the cab drivers, tuk-tuks (who were the absolute worst and we refuse to take them anywhere anymore), and continue on to the people who were up front about pricing.

"Safe" Branding of Products
We've noticed that Asian marketeers must have noticed that their Western tourists love feeling safe. They've noticed it so much that the word "safe" appears everywhere, on almost every product.

Places I've seen labeled "safe":

• water bottles
• menus
• boats
• tour companies
• snorkeling companies
• Jungle safari
• Elephant Nature park
• airlines
• sign outside a public park

The funny part is that most of these things make you sign a safety release before they allow you to board or participate in anything. 

Pak-Up Hostel in Krabi

"Fried" Ice Cream in the Night Krabi Food Market (like Cold Stone, Thai-style)

Rocking the longtail back to the mainland.

Stacey enjoys the pool at our Railay hotel.

Haha, these were the Canadian party-animals we went snorkeling with. They brought their own boombox and everything.

*ERRORS FOUND WITHIN THIS BLOG POST*

1. Manuelos should be Manolis
2. The women were from Spain, not Italy
3. The part about the bakery is true, except that it was Stephanie alone who charged into the bakery after I so helpfully pointed out that it looked closed
4. Bakery lady was not screaming. Wildly waving arms and running to the door with a broom, yes. Screaming, no.
5. All forms of transportation here are slightly infuriating, except for airplanes, which have been a delight.
6. The picture shown above of the cat would lead one to believe that all cats on the islands were adorable fluffy creatures. They were not. You could get a disease just looking at them.

Phi phi, poo poo

Food poisoning. Agony. It's currently almost 2pm, and we were supposed to be snorkeling on Koh Phi Phi, but instead we are huddled with water, Gatorade, and some bastardization of saltine and ritz crackers (they are so weird--they look like saltines but taste like ritz).

How did we get this way? Let us rewind.

Last night after getting home from Phi Phi, e decided to go to the rich (west) side of the island for dinner. A splurge of sorts. We picked out our restaurant and Stacey ordered fish and chips and I ordered red curry (a mistake I would regret in coming hours). When the food arrived, I was hungry and ate all of mine, but Stacey didn't seem to like her fish and ate only the fries. On the way back to the other side, Stacey started feeling sick and stopped in the alley to have some quality time with the mulch. I went ahead, trying to find Advil as I was convinced that her sickness was due to the horrrrrrible sunburn she had gotten on the beach. Somehow, she made it up the hundred steps to our hut and was profusely sick for the next few hours. I pitied her and was thanking myself for loading up on sunscreen, when I, too, suddenly felt a rumbly in my tumbly.

I will spare you the details of what followed over the next seven hours. Let me just say we were running to the bathroom like two competing NASCAR pit crews, and I don't know what would have happened had there been a collision.

Lowlights of the evening:
--when we did all of the horrible damage to our backs/shoulders/chests without knowing it (apparently vomiting is a crossfit-worthy athletic task)
--when Stacey tried to take a shower to feel better and remembered that we only have cold water
--when we ran out of tissues AND toilet paper

Stacey was about three hours ahead of me in this cycle, so I felt encouraged this morning when she said she felt marginally better and I still felt like crap. She made the Herculean effort to throw all of our stuff in the bags, lay me out something to wear, and get us out of the hut so that we could check into a room with air conditioning for the day/night, which is where we are now. Then she found is a room, bought drinks and food, all while I was sitting with our luggage on the boardwalk in the fetal position, hoping that passerby might think me just a very strange reverent person and not someone with the plague.

Our most embarrassing moment was when the 80-year-old Thai man saw us barely making it up a long incline to the hotel and came and grabbed both of our bags to take them to the room.

Once we made it to the room and had a cracker, I was feeling slightly better, but we were (are) still pretty pathetic.

Sta: Pass me the phone and the crackers.
Me: (Toss them over)

(No movement)

Me: Uh, what are you planning on doing there?
Sta: Too weak.
Me: Aw baby has a weak neck, can't sit up.
Sta: Haha I feel like something trampled me.
Me: Haha Navaan (baby elephant we met) sat on you.
Sta: Hahaha.
Me: Eat those over the box. Do you want ants?
Sta: Don't be sassy, it's not becoming.
Me: Whole stream of ants in our bed, s'all I'm saying.
Sta: I would sleep in here with them.

Silence

Me: I wish we had like a whole season of Will and Grace to watch right now.

Silence

Me: (In my best "Karen" impersonation) "honey, what's going on, what is this, what's happening here?"
Sta: Oh my god.
Me: I know. Pretty awesome.

(Silence)

Me: I wonder if this is what we're going to be like when we're old and decrepit and stuck in bed. You know, just razzing each other because we have no energy to do anything else.

(Silence)

Me: I have to say though, I wouldn't have wanted to do it this way, but this does cut down drastically on my need to worry about how much junk I was eating.
Sta: wow, you're really trying to find the positive in this, aren't you?
Me: I mean...it's kind of true.

We couldn't really figure out what caused all of this, but I'm guessing it was the place we ate lunch on Phi Phi.

Stacey's Happy Place

We took the ferry from Railay to Koh Phi Phi ("pee pee island"). The ferry ride made me feel like a kid at a carnival, in one of those rides that suspends you in the air, soaring up and down and makes you feel like flying. We rode on the bow of the boat, legs dangling over the side, the boat's wake spraying our feet so forcefully that it lifted our legs and soaked us to the waists.

Once we disembarked on the pier, we were greeted by hoards of people waving signs for hotels ("Where you stay? Cheap! Cheap!"). They actually started to blend together like a flock of very enthusiastic birds, yelling "cheap, cheap" all down the pier.

It became clear, as we made our way through small alleyways full of vendors and food, that Stacey was feeling at home already. I had forgotten, in my quest to find the most remote, non-touristic island for us, that Stacey likes pretty white beaches, the availability of western (or as she puts it--varied) types of food, and some more of the creature comforts than what was (sparingly) available on our little deserted stretch of beach. I'm not saying she's a prima Donna by any stretch, but if you could see the way her face lit up when we reached the pristine white beach and clear turquoise water of Phi phi, you would know what I mean.

She jumped in the water immediately, and even I ventured in a ways, camera carefully in hand.

Me: "you look happy."
Stacey: "Who wouldn't be happy? This is paradise."
Me: "yeah, I like that I can see where I'm walking."
Stacey: "Are you going to put your bathing suit on and come in?"
Me: "no."
Stacey: (laughs)
Me: "I am quite happy to stand here."

I drifted back toward shore, taking pictures of these awesome white birds that were diving straight down into the water to catch small fish. They looked a bit like tiny kingfishers, or maybe kamikaze hang-gliders. Couldn't really get a good shot of them with my wide lens.

I zeroed in on the beach chairs that came with umbrellas. I rented one for 100 baht and settled in with my book. My afternoon got even better when Stacey came up an hour later and pointed out that the stand behind is sold Oreo shakes. Two, please. This, truly, was paradise.

In love with the island, we've decided to come back tomorrow and stay here one night before heading back to the mainland on Sunday. Hopefully I'll get some rock climbing in before we leave!

The Chad

Spent a leisurely morning in our hut today. Decided to get up an venture out around 11, after spending some quality reading time with the monkeys and lizards outside.

We ate lunch on the boardwalk of sorts that wraps around this side of the beach. We're staying on Railay East, which is the more backpacker/budget oriented side of things. Railay West is home to the more exclusive resorts (the ones that have real air-conditioners and things like TVs). Our fan-cooled hut has character, though, and when we shower in cold water because there is no hot or can't finish washing our hair because the water is running out altogether, I know we're getting the TrUE experience, and you can't buy that.

Stacey hates it when I say that.

So today, after lunch/breakfast), we found this 5-island snorkel sunset tour that looked cool, so we decided to go. We were waiting to be picked up by the boat and realized that we would be going with a huge group that looked mostly like college kids. The tour guy said that they were all Canadian ("big party, party withe Canadians). We thought we'd go check them out.

When we walked over to their group of 16, two frat-like guys were twirling twin chains with marshmallow looking attachments on each end. They were not good at it. One guy couldn't get his chains to stop hitting each other and the other guy tried to twirl them over his head and kept repeatedly smacking himself in the back of the neck. I thought I recognized what they were, and sure enough, one of them said something about fire spinning.

"So you guys are doing fire spinning?" Stacey asked.
"Yeah," the first guy said, "we're performing tonight at First Bar."
"Wow," I said, taking in how many times the second guy was hitting himself, "um, did you take a class or something?"
"No."
"Oh."
The first guy looked bewildered that I had asked such a thing, while the second did his best to explain: "See, we had them on fire earlier, but we kept burning ourselves, so we put them out for now. But we'll have them on tonight."
Stacey and I just stared at them. "That's...really good."

To the group's credit, they did seem really fun. They entertained us as we traipsed from island to island. Once we thought we saw them playing Red Rover from across the beach. When we got back in the boat, Stacey asked what the game was that they had been playing. "Oh, I don't know," one girl said, "every time we go somewhere new, they make up a new game."

We saw some really cool islands, which all have huge stone cliffs jutting straight up out of the sea, as well as some white jellyfish that are about the size of small grapefruits.

Our guide, Chad, was ridiculous. He ran around in a purple shirt, yelling at everyone and shouting things no one could understand ("is he speaking half in English and half in Thai?"). I took a video of some of his more ridiculous moments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Uwlyb0bCk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsZYVfocuFU

Lady (boys?) of the Night

4:52am.

Just arrived at the Chiang Mai airport for our flight south to Krabi. The flight is at 6:55am, and in our haste to not be late, we didn't consider that we might arrive before the airport actually opens.

We checked out of our guesthouse, the man who works at night telling us he would "call us a taxi." That translated to "get on my motorbike and drive around until I find a taxi willing to take you." Taxi drivers here often refuse service if they don't want to go to a particular destination or if there aren't enough passengers, etc. Our guy managed to find one, though, and we climbed aboard for a scenic little last tour of Chiang Mai.

We saw the garbage truck, which is actually a really cool pickup conversion sort of thing. Someone rides in the truck, picking recycling out of all the garbage. And the garbage trucks go out every night, which is why the city doesn't smell and perhaps why we haven't seen public trash cans anywhere.

We also saw a lot of ladies on corners, and a couple who were talking to some interesting fellas.

The market was the only place bustling with activity, some men and women already leaving in the dark with baskets brimming full of fresh fruits and vegetables and rice.

We're excited to get to Krabi but sad to leave Chiang Mai behind. It's been exciting.

Like a Monkey

Spent the day literally flying through the canopy of the Thai rainforest. It was ziplining at its best, and one of my favorite activities so far. I need to get back to the room to shower soon, so I'm going to make this one quick with pictures.

This is the belay device they used for us to "abseil" (which is basically like being belayed down from above) in free fall. We fell sharply for about 40 meters, hooked on the backs of our harnesses, before the guys brought us to a halt. It was awesome.

Halfway through our adventure, we stopped for a water break and found this jungle swing. Yayyyyyyy!

This is the view from one of the platforms (we were standing--clipped in--on a platform about six feet square and 60m high)

Stacey demonstrates how we can be so brave while clipped in our harnesses....don't worry, Mom!

On a fun little bridge between platforms, high above the forest floor.

Night Bazaar...or Bizarre?

After our exhausting day of village-visiting and stair-climbing, we decided to chill out, eat some dinner, and go shopping at the Night Bazaar.

Just to give you an idea, the Night Bazaar is five blocks' worth of cheap, cheap goods, handicrafts, artwork, sculpture, paintings, clothing, food, etc. It's pretty much a shopaholic's crack house....if that makes sense. Needless to say, it's easy to find anything you want.

Well. Not when you're shopping with Stacey.

This has happened before. If you've ever read our Italy blog posts, you might have seen the (many) ones where I wrote that Stacey couldn't make up her mind about what food to buy. We were constantly on the hunt for the right "food experience." In Chiang Mai, apparently we are trying to find the right "pant experience." There are these fisherman's pants here that everyone is wearing. Because they're awesome. They're lightweight, cute, and extremely affordable. All of the clothing vendors sell them, and we love wearing them. I already have a few pairs. We decided that we wanted to buy them for some people back home, so we went to the Bazaar prepared to buy in one bulk transaction, hoping to slash some prices even more with quantity.

That would have worked. Really well, it probably would have worked really well. Except Stacey (not, as she said, that it's a bad thing--necessarily) is exceptionally picky. She bought this pair of pants with a certain elephant print on them, and is insisting that she wants to buy another pair of the same kind to give away. Now, keep in mind that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of vendors who sell these pants. The streets are literally packed on both sides of both sidewalks. Each vendor that sells the pants probably has between 15-30 patterns to choose. Last night, we walked the ENTIRE Night Bazaar from end to end, corner to corner, and couldn't find those stupid elephant pants. Every time we saw a booth with the pants, I would yell "pants!" and Stacey would turn and give me the stink eye. She says I'm too excited and that I have no poker face. Duh. Anyone who watches movies with me knows that (Nicole, Bart, am I right?). Everything I think, it's like an LED ticker tape, running across my forehead. This is not great for bargaining. Stacey said, "You act like you want it," to which I said, "Well, I do!" To my credit though, I'm also very good at "running out of money" (ahh, no money left--only 100 baht!).

Whatever. The point is, we walked for about an hour and a half before I started pushing other prints of pants really hard. Stacey asked this poor guy for elephant print pants, and he started pulling every pair of pants that featured elephants (probably over a dozen), and frowned in dismay when she rejected all of them.

Now she's laughing because she knows how ridiculous this is.

After two hours of fruitless pant shopping (well, fruitless for Stacey--I bought three pairs of pants, some herbs and spices, a wooden mask, and some drinks), I dragged her into a massage parlor for an hour long foot, head, and back massage (150 baht, thank you!). I deserved it :)

Thought this internet sign was hilarious.

Then, to my chagrin, after taking a picture of the internet sign, I fell down as I was trying to get back into my chair. We were not dignified customers. Not at all.

This was from earlier in the day. Just a typical sight on the roads of Chiang Mai.

Hill tribe

On Monday, we had a free day. Our first, in fact. So we decided to fill it.

We asked around about activities and found that we could visit a hill tribe (not the actual mountain ones, you have to go on treks for that, but one that the government set up as a "model" hill tribe). We hired this guy (shown below) to drive us there for 300 baht, which is about 9 dollars.

I have more pictures from the village, but they're on my camera, not my phone, so I can't upload them. Unfortunately, the hill tribe village turned out to be suuuuuuper commercialized and touristy. The people actually live there, and they live in the same primitive conditions, but they all just sell handicrafts in stall after stall after stall. The most interesting part about the whole place was the children, so that's what I photographed.

The histories of the different tribes are interesting, especially the Long-Neck tribe. The Long Neck women put coils of brass around their necks, stretching their necks by depressing their shoulders and ribcages from childhood. They begin putting the coils on at four years old (we saw some girls with them), and by the time they're sixty, their necks are unnaturally stretched and shoulders exceptionally low. Though there are stories for tourists about the women being afraid of being carried off by tigers, or their necks being so weak that they can't hold them up if they take off their coils, the truth is that the coils began thousands of years ago as adornments, fashion accessories. As with some trends (thank you hair feathers, fake eyelashes, and Beanie Babies), the fashion went a little on the excessive side.

They only take the coils off once every two years, and as this woman shows, they wear fabric underneath to protect and clean their skin. That whole thing is actually one very long coil of brass that was wrapped around her neck about 30 times. It weighs about 7kg, which is....15 pounds...maybe? It's a lot, that's for sure.

After the village, we decided to have Udon, the driver, take us up Doi Suthep once again to see the palace grounds and escape the sweltering midday heat of the city. When we got there, we were forced to rent gigantic skirts, because apparently our athletic pants were too scandalous for royal grounds (I always try to be respectful, but that stung a bit). The palace was closed for renovation, but we did get to walk up a million steps to a "beautiful water reservoir" that ended up being empty. The shining attractions were:

This bench that provided us rest and shade in the middle of the million steps....

This "giant bamboo" which was actually very, very giant...

(I had to run away because I was afraid of getting yelled at)....

And the "Phuping Palace Ice Cream" that we found at the top of the steps...

I got two.

Cooking With Fire

Yesterday we got to see an old acquaintance, Permpoon Nabnian, who runs "the Best Thai Cookery School." I took his class last time I was in Chiang Mai and was excited to do it again, partly because I knew I ha forgotten some techniques and partly because of its general awesomeness.

First, we were delightedly surprised to find that our truck stopped in front of Clair and Siobhan's guesthouse (we knew they were doing a cooking class, too, but we thought they were going to a different one).

The truck was not designed for 17 people to ride, so these two had to hang onto the back.

After picking everyone up, we went to the local market to find fresh fruits and vegetables. We bought the ingredients for our dishes and then we were on our way to Permpoon's house. Also picked up a few tricks along the way: pick limes that are easy to squeeze, choose eggs that are very small (small eggs mean younger hens), and the pink eggs come from pink hens (just kidding, they were duck eggs that were dyed pink).

Throughout the day, we cooked lots of dishes. We made: curry paste, a curry of our choice (I did paneang), papaya salad (not what you're thinking), chicken with cashew nuts, sticky rice with mango, phad thai, and spring rolls. It was delicious =P

Showing off some papaya salad (made from very young, green papayas) with tomato, peanuts, chilis, lime juice, fish sauce, etc.)

Perm did some fruit and vegetable carving for us. He made a tomato flower and then a tomato butterfly on top

Love the Baht

Money.

In Thailand, we seem to have more of it. The baht has this amazing super-power of changing my perception of money until four days into the trip and I'm haggling like mad over a two dollar taxi ride. Drinks that cost $3.50 in the states cost $.30 here, and paying more than $1.50 for a meal just seems like a waste.

Tonight, we met up with our British and American friends, Clair and Siobhan, to go to the mountaintop temple called Doi Suthep (pronounced Su-tep). It's a pretty cool story actually--one of the monks in another city told a monk to take the relics of Buddha and build a temple atop this mountain, and it became the eyes above what is now Chiang Mai. The temple complex is one of the prettiest I've ever seen. There are rows and rows I bells surrounding the central wat complex. In most temples, there's an outer area that surrounds the actual temple area. At Doi Suthep, the inner temple area is much more than just the wat--it contains many smaller wats and statues in addition to the giant golden chedi that sits in its center. To enter this inner area, you must leave your shoes behind and ascend the stairs (there are always stairs).

The picture with the eight Buddha statues with candles in front represent the different days of the week. Wednesday has two: one for the day and one for night. Each person has a specifically posed Buddha that is his/her personal statue. Which statue you use is determined by your day of birth. So go look up the year you were born and figure out what ye day was. When I can, I'll label the different Buddhas. I can't move the pics around right now because I'm on my phone...

After taking pictures in the temple, we rode our red truck taxi back down the mountain, regretfully leaving the cooler mountain air for the sweltering heat of asphalt and exhaust. Dinner was a delightful mix of street food from a nearby vendor.

Me: "do you want to eat it here?"
Stacey: " I'm sweating."
Me: "yeah, but...we could still eat it out here."
Stacey: "then my sweat could just drip straight into my food, give it a little salt, since the Thais apparently don't cook with it."
Me: "sooooo you want to go back tithe room then?"

We ended up eating in the very cute outdoor lobby area of our hotel (in front of a fan). The owner is French, and I'm not sure how to respond to his somewhat humorless yet good-natured jokes.

Owner: "Many westerners come here, they think the Thais use chopsticks. It's not true! They use spoons and forks for everything except soups! Sometimes for the noodles. Forks and spoons, and for the soups they use the sticks!"
Me: "Oh. Yeah, that's crazy."

And later:

Me: "thank you for the plates. Where should I out these?"
Owner: "you want to wash the dishes too?"
Me: "ahhh, haha."
Owner: "you wash the dishes?"
Me: "oh. Umm."

Yeah. Both times. Not really sure what to say. I did think the chopstick but was interesting though. I had always assumed that Asians used chopsticks for pretty much everything. Don't feel bad anymore for not using those chopsticks.

Back in our nicely air-conditioned room, we're ready for our cooking class tomorrow! Talk to you then.